"WWDD?"
-or- How Donald Trump Saved Humanity and Healed the Planet
It started innocently enough when a young girl in Mississippi asked her minister at the local AME Church how to resolve an issue between her and her brother. The minister started to answer with a Bible story, paused for a moment, and then said, “Think about President Trump and ask yourself, ‘What would Donald do?”
“Then do that?” asked the girl.
“No,” the minister replied. “Then DO THE OPPOSITE!”
She tried this out with her brother and then with the rest of her family. In a short time, it had such a positive effect that her parents asked her about her new behavior. She told them what the minister had said, and they shared it with friends. It quickly spread in the community and across the state. Changes began to be apparent. School and work absenteeism declined while grades and productivity increased. Poverty decreased and crime stats fell. The price of eggs dropped as chickens doubled their output. The story was picked up by local, then national, media outlets, except Fox.
Within months Mississippi’s ranking for quality-of-life indicators improved across the board. Neighboring states took notice and began to implement the WWDD Program, as it came to be called, which was soon rebranded as a movement. Polling showed a drop in voters claiming to be MAGA, and gun sales plummeted. Even the number of predicted hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico - Yes, that name was restored - was lowered.
Nationwide, then worldwide, the process took hold:
Moral dilemma?
Ask yourself, “What would Donald do?”
Then DO THE OPPOSITE!
Environmental issue?
Ask yourself, “What would Donald do?”
Then DO THE OPPOSITE!
Political question?
Ask yourself, “What would Donald do?”
Then DO THE OPPOSITE!
Dating concerns?…
Strategic or tactical military decisions?…
Economic policy?…
International relations?…
Miraculously, peace was established in Ukraine and the Middle East. Putin was retired to a horse farm in Siberia, after which Russia became a democracy.
The Supreme Court began an unbroken string of 7-to-2 pro-Constitution rulings - there’s no hope for some people. Of course, a few other holdouts remained. The Trump family was relocated to a Mar-a-Lago replica on what was once Jeffrey Epstein’s private island, while the remaining White House staffers, Cabinet members, and embedded billionaires self-deported to the newly reopened facilities on Alcatraz under the banner of the White Racist Federation of QAnonica, with Stephen Miller acting Chief Cook and Bottle Whitewasher and Pete Hegseth Secretary of Offense. On both islands gasoline prices were capped at $1.99 per gallon, but only electric vehicles were allowed. Travel to and from both was monitored by great white sharks, who experienced a resurgence in numbers with the simultaneous reversal of global warming and the reestablishment of balanced weather patterns and ocean currents.
Two notable items, to wrap things up:
-- Trillionaire Elon Musk was last heard humming "Deutschland über alles" on his nine-month journey in a Tesla cybertruck-camper-spaceship conversion van to a new home on Mars.
-- At her last public appearance, former White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt joyfully proclaimed, “The WWDD Movement proves that Donald Trump’s presidency was the greatest boon to mankind since the resurrection of Jesus Christ... Even greater!”
12/13/25, Rev 12./15/25B
Scroll down or click here for I'm for Me First: The Secret Handbook of the Me First Party
Click here to return to the top of this page
I'm for Me First: The Secret Handbook for the Me First Party
Roger Price Spelled It All Out in 1954
Little did I realize when I was eight or nine years old that I was reading the play book Donald Trump would be using some sixty years later. This was a small volume titled I'm for Me First: The Secret Handbook for the Me First Party. It was authored by nationally recognized humorist Roger Price, whom I knew as the cartoonist whose Droodles strip appeared in The Washington Daily News, our local Scripps Howard tabloid. Today, Price, who died in 1990, is perhaps best remembered as a co-creator, in 1953, with playwright Leonard Stern of the still on-going Mad Libs book series.
The Me First Party handbook was not reprinted after the hardback and paper back first edition, and today copies are very rare, although apparently Trump somehow got hold of one. Mine belonged to the parents of my friend Steve Karpinos, and I have never seen another since those halcyon days of elementary school. It must have made a big impression. The handbook was the alleged creation of politician Herman Clabbercutt, whom we would now label as a toxic narcissist, so, whereas I assume Price meant this as an over-the-top satire of politicians, we could describe it as frighteningly close to reality.
Everything in the book was a description of how to gain office by hook or crook. My memories are scant, but they include the Me First Party song, which was in the key of D, In fact, it was also in the single note of D and ran like this, as I recall:
I'm good enough for me
I'm my only nominee
I've got no use for anyone who isn't good old me
Good things in life you see
Are never ever free
But if I shove and push and grab I'll get them all for me
I'm for me first, me first, me
I'm for me me me me me
Oh, everything I see
I want to grab for me
I'm looking out for number one and number one is me
One section was on rigging voting machines, including a diagram of the master toggle switch, which looked suspiciously like the float in a toilet tank. (See the picture of the book cover.) Clabbercutt also wanted to build a wall along the Mason-Dixon Line to protect the South from Northern ideas.
On one page was the inscription, "When the chickens come home to roost, it's no time to whitewash the wall." I didn't completely understand it at the time, but, like the rest of the book, it now reads true.
No, I don't really think Trump read it - does he read anything? - but Price was onto something. His comic strip Droodles was a single panel containing a cryptic drawing that you would try to identify before looking at the caption. One I remember was all black except for a thin vertical white rectangle in its center. The caption was something like "A politician's view of the world on election day." Another showed a horizontal rectangle with rounded corners and a tiny fish centered in it. The caption read, "The rich sardine," which was also the tile of a collection containing this and other Droodles, published by Price in 1954. I just found out you can find more examples of Droodles in the Wikipedia article "Droodles." Come to think of it, there is no Wikipedia article on the Me First Party. Now, that's rare!
12/31/25
Click here to return to the top of this page
Click here for "WWDD?" -or- How Donald Trump Saved Humanity and Healed the Planet
1956 paperback edition cover [credit: https://goodreads.com ]. I read the 1954 hardback edition.